Definitions

One of the funniest things about kids is when they learn a new word. Whether they overhear it or are directly taught, they don't always get how to use it in context.

Conversation with Max the other morning:

Max: Mom, what are you doing?

Me: I'm flossing.

Max: Fwoss, loss, fross..... Mom, I can't say "floss".

Me: How come?

Max: It's dangerous.

First grader

I was walking Lily to school this morning and we had the following conversation:

Lily: Mom, I have special powers.

Me: You do? What are they?

Lily: When I cross my eyes, I can see two of everything.

Me: Lily, everyone can.....

Lily: I know, everyone can do that. I knew you were going to say that. That's my other special power.

I'm going to have to be very careful around this girl if she can read my mind!!

SLAM!

Saturday morning, Max had his little friend over, Josie. Josie, being a girl, loves playing with little girlie things. Max? Not so much. Since Lily was also home, Josie wanted to play girlie stuff with Lily. In a fit of anger, Max went stomping down the hall and said "I'm going to my room and I'm going to slam my door!!" Overhearing this, I said, "Oh no you're not! We don't slam doors!" In a huff, he ran into his room, but quietly shut the door.

The next morning, Max and Lily were quarreling again. Max again went stomping down the hall and shouted, "I'm going to my ROOM and I'm going to shut my door GENTLY!"

Not quite the same impact......

Old minds

So for the past month, everytime my kids said something I wanted to remember, I'd think about this blog. Then promptly forget what they said. It just happened this morning... Max said something absolutely hilarious and I wanted to immediately write it down... but didn't. So now it's gone, hopefully to resurface when I'm showering or something will trigger a memory.

Here's something I DO remember...

Max was only slightly successful at this swimming lessons this past summer. Overall, he's just a great, big scaredy-cat. He will now get into the water - very, very, very slowly. It may take him over an hour just to be standing on a step in the pool. During swim lessons, he went right into the water, which was only waist-deep for him. But at our friends' houses who have pools? He'll get completely in ONLY if Mom or Dad is already in the water. If we don't feel like swimming, he'll generally, gradually, and ever ever so slowly end up standing on the step in the water.

Fast forward to a few mornings ago. Max is sitting on the counter, helping me get his cereal ready. After pouring the milk, Max says, "Look! The cereal is swimming! Well, not swimming. They're just standing........on the step."

He can't even imagine cereal swimming, poor guy. More swimming lessons are definitely in his future for next year.

Summer over already?

I've been too busy with summer to post much.

Okay, the truth is, I pretty much napped my afternoons away during most of June and July. I have those months, couple times a year, when my iron is low and so is my energy. Fortunately, this happened during June and everything is very low key after lunch anyway.

June has flown by in a blur, yet I'm not quite sure what we did. Lots of kids playing outside, since, freakishly, the weather was wonderful for Arizona. Normally we don't venture outside, but it was in the lovely 90's.

One week in June was bible school at church. Cara and I volunteered to be with the kindergartners. I thought it would be nice to be with Lily the whole evening. I won't think that again. Don't get me wrong, I loved being with her, but with me there, she wouldn't try to make friends with anyone else. And she was very jealous when I paid attention to any of the other kids. Tricky situation.

Lily did lost her first tooth, finally! She was SO excited. It had been loose for about a week and was very very wobbly. We were driving to bible school; in fact, had just pulled into the parking lot when Lily shrieked, "MOM!" Startled me quite a bit, until she then yelled "IT CAME OUT!" By the time I parked and looked back at her, she was holding the tooth in her hand, grinning like crazy...... and had blood dripping down her chin! Fortunately I had paper towels in the van and we pressed it against her mouth until the bleeding stopped.

It is now July 17th and her other bottom front tooth is slightly loose. The tooth-losing extravaganza begins anew!

Both Max & Lily have taken swimming lessons for a few weeks and Lily has completely improved. She swims alone to her teacher and is learning underwater swimming. I'm going to sign them up today for the next session. Max is....... a little better about not throwing a fit about the water. LOL! He's a wimp, which isn't a surprise since he's pretty much scared of everything. He will now get into the water and splash around, but refuses to go under the water and screams if you even casually mention it. Oh well.... maybe next summer.

Must Dance

The other morning, Max ran into the kitchen where Cara and I were eating breakfast. Very urgently, he cried, "MOM! MOM!" He had only just begun to tell me whatever it was that needed to be urgently said, when he noticed that Santana's "Smooth" was playing on the radio. He stopped, mid-word, and a vacant, dazed look came upon his face. Just as suddenly he turned, and danced away.

Disneyland and Misc

It's been almost a week since we came home from Disneyland and the memories are quickly fading. It's more difficult to blog during the summer since the kids are home from school and everyone fights over the computer. So..... I'll try to remember some of the highlights of our Disney trip.

Lily rode Splash Mountain for the first time. She was absolutely fine, if not a little nervous, but enjoyed herself......until THE mountain. I bought a picture of our plummet; it's priceless. First Elise, then Cara with their mouths wide open in mid-scream. Then Lily who looks as if she's going to burst into tears. Then me, holding on to Lily and smiling. After the splashdown, Lily began sobbing, "I don't like this! I don't like this!" For the rest of the trip, I would ask her if she wanted to go on Splash Mountain again. She would look at me and roll her eyes.

The first few days were a blur of getting this or that Fast Pass and riding the major rides, with the kiddy rides thrown in here and there. It wasn't until day 3, that we really relaxed and just enjoyed the park. Bart & I took Lily and Max to Toon Town one morning while Cara and Elise went to California Adventure. We got their pictures with Goofy, Minnie & Mickey and spent a nice hour riding the rides there and letting them run around. I even talked Bart into going on Small World, which was redone, but looks very nice. Lily in particular loved it.

We all went on Pirates of the Caribbean several times. The first time Max hid is face the entire time. The second and third times he would keep his head up for longer periods of time. Of course I don't think he saw one little bit of Haunted Mansion, but Lily seemed to enjoy it.

Overall we had a very good time.

Now for some Max-isms:

He dipped his chin into the tub full of bubbles and came up with an impressive beard. He told me it was NOT a beard.... it was a pistachio.

Lily and he were playing on the couch and Lily pretended to fall asleep. Max gently leaned over and kissed her. My heart melted.

I've been having fun with Elise too this week. Yesterday we played ball in the living room and LAUGHED! Just a silly little game of throwing the ball back and forth, but it was SO much fun. I'm so glad to be her mom.

Cara is just busy working at Rollie Pollie and spending time with friends. Tomorrow night we're going to DJ's graduation party with a Godfather theme. Which reminds me, I should find something to wear......

Family Band

Several months ago, Lily decided to conduct a family band. She put out 6 varieties of instruments: Wiggles guitar, microphone, blocks, sticks, etc. She then put the name of each family member next to their instrument. Unfortunately, Bart was out of town, so we decided to do the band with the 5 of us. I was assigned the blocks. I was to hit them together in rhythm to the music.

We began. The music was brilliant. When we were done, Lily looked at me with scorn. "Mom, you aren't supposed to play during the music, only AFTER." The next song, everyone played to their hearts content, except for me. My big moment hadn't come yet. The music ended and I hit my blocks together - clunk. Lily thought it was fabulous. The rest of us couldn't stop laughing. After that, EVERYONE wanted to play my instrument. I guess everyone needs a solo once in awhile.

Last night, Elise had her 8th grade promotion. Her school is so cool, in a super duper nerdy way. I truly wish I could have gone there when I was in jr. high/high school. Anyway, it has a Roman Classical theme and each student takes 3 years of Latin. The 8th graders promenaded in, wearing their Sunday best and every single student had gold leaves around their heads (think toga party accessory). So awesomely nerdily cool.

The program began with the pledge of allegiance (always makes me tear up). As we all stood, with out hands on our hearts, reciting those words, Max pipes up "I want to say something too!"

It was also very interesting to watch each of the 62 kids walk across the stage to get their certificate. I think it was the Cool Contest. The rule was: NO ACTING HAPPY OR EXCITED IN ANY WAY! All students were to walk across the stage with the MOST bored expression on their face. Of course, for the girls in heels, they might just have been concentrating on not tripping over their new high heels. The winner would have been the student who actually yawned while walking. However, these are honor students so noone had the guts.

I can't wait to see them at their high school graduation. If they even show up.

The start of something good?

As much as I complain about potty-training my son, I've really taken a half-assed approach to it. I always figured that it would happen someday, in spite of me. I also never really minded changing diapers - even the poopy ones. I mastered the art of holding my nose without using fingers eons ago at the swimming pool at Camp Dodge.

It's so much easier having a kids in diapers, rather than a kid in full-on potty-training mode. I'd much rather glide through the supermarket, distracting my kids with crackers, cookies, and funny faces and letting them relieve themselves in their diapers, than running pell mell for the bathroom everytime they said they had to potty. And I won't even get into the condition of some public bathrooms. The thought of getting on my knees and hoisting my sweet child's fanny onto the germ-filled toilet seat gives me the willies. Give me diapers any day!!

Except.

Except it had to happen.

Except it had to happen at a very inopportune time.

Earlier this week, Max was showing real interest. He was showing acute awareness of his bowels and bladder function. However, he would tell me after the fact. "Mommy, I peed. Mommy, I pooped." That was all fine and dandy. I even put him in his "big boy underwear", until he peed in them a few minutes later. I was starting to sweat a little - my baby (who is 3) couldn't possibly be ready for this.

Imagine my relief, when, the very next morning, instead of pooping on the toilet, like he has done for months, he raced into the kitchen and hid in the corner to poop. Of course he did this while I was taking Elise to school, and his dad and I thought it was a scream! Ha ha! Isn't that cute? Boy, he won't be potty trained for MONTHS!!

I was smug in my "child knowing" ways. I admit it. I just KNEW this kid might be potty-trained sometime this summer, but NOT within the next couple of weeks. I just plain wasn't ready for it.

Have I mentioned we're leaving in a week and a half for Disneyland??

Then this morning I put him on the toilet as usual as soon as he got up. He didn't want to go!! (yay!) He ended up pooping just a little bit, so, as a reward, I put him in his underwear, just knowing in my smug way that it would be shat and peed upon within hours. I took Elise to school about half an hour later, just knowing that when I got home, I'd have a mess to clean up.

Only, there was no mess. I put him on the toilet again whereupon he not only pooped more, but also peed. There was much rejoicing and praising, while inside I was a bit less smug. A few hours later, I put him on the potty again. He peed and pooped again. There was much rejoicing and praising, while inside I felt my smug-ness melting away. Then, during lunch, IT happened. He said "I have to pee." Did you hear that??? ""I HAVE TO PEE."" Said like a pro. Said like something who's been saying it for years.

My smug-ness demanded to be heard!! I smugly thought, "Yeah, right." Only, he peed. On the potty. After telling me.

I didn't have the courage to leave him in his underwear for naptime, so he is currently sleeping in a diaper. But my smug-ness? I think it went on permanent vacation.

Mother's Day

My Mother's Day started with Lily coming into my bedroom to tell me NOT to go into the kitchen. Thank goodness I was already awake, waiting for breakfast to cook since she had told me the day before that I was getting breakfast in bed. A few minutes later Max entered, carrying a home-made card. From the appearance, Daddy did most of the work, but Max managed to create some interesting blobs on one side of the card. After careful study of the blobs, he declared "Looks like glue". Maybe glue is the symbol of love in some other place, like Toddler-Land.

I received several cards and a balloon and some flowers, but I just loved the paper that Lily had done at school. The children were asked questions about their mothers and the answers were written down. For example, I am 14 years old, weigh 20 pounds, but have size 10 feet (according to Lily). Some of her answers were right on, such as "What is your mother's favorite thing to do?" The answer, "Drink coffee and do puzzles."

Children are very observant, aren't they?

This morning I took Max to the grocery store where they just introduced the "car carts" where the kids can sit in the car part in the front and drive while Mom pushes the cart from behind. Apparently this delighted Max because he could see the people who were also shopping. He began by saying to each person we walked by, "Helloooooooooooooo." Most people responded with a smile and a "Hello". After a few aisles, this was boring, so he changed his repertoire to "Hellooooooooo. Don't forget to brush your teeth!"

Big Head

I was in the grocery store with Lily today, looking to stock up on Amish Friendship Bread supplies. I was stopped by a display of decorative outdoor clocks, which I've been wanting for awhile. After deciding which one I liked best, I told Lily that she could get it for me for Mother's Day.

"When is Mother's Day?" she asked.

"In 8 days, I think. Are you going to make me breakfast in bed?"

She looked at me with scorn in her eyes.... "Well, smell you!"

As if I had no right to ask for such an extravagant absurdity.

I laughed for several aisles.

_____

Whenever we drive past a park, Max exclaims, "There's a parking store!"

I have no idea where he got this one.

Just when it gets overwhelming....

A few nights ago I was trying to bake some Amish Friendship bread.... the origin of which is unknown. Apparently some sweet Amish woman was trying to make friends with a citified person and gave her a small sample of dough. This sample has now been duplicated a million times over and plastic ziploc bags of yeasty, fermented gooey dough is being passed around by housewives like crack.

I digress.

According to the directions which came with the dough, I had to finally bake it. Which I could not do without at least one trip to the grocery store to buy pudding mix, which also happened to be on sale so there was none on the shelf. I finally located a store brand and brought it home. Did I also mention I was trying to get the house in order for the in-laws' visit? And it was late? And I was tired and becoming ever more frazzled as the moments passed?

In the midst of the madness "they" walked in.... Lily and Max. "They" wanted to help. "They" do not realize that by "helping" me, they add a good 15 minutes onto my already tight schedule. Being the firm parent that I am, I completely caved and let them help, by stirring. Elise was in the kitchen, truly helping, but I was scrambling to add ingrediants, find the proper pans and then find pans that would just have to work. My blood pressure was rising and I felt myself hitting that breaking point.

Then it happened.

I was crouched down, digging into a cabinet for the just-have-to-work pan when Max climbed onto my back. As I turned to snap at him to leave me alone so I could find the stupid pan, I realized that he wasn't really attacking me.

He was hugging me.

And when I turned around, he hugged me harder.

The bread turned out really sweet too.

Shrinking

My very small world has quickly been reduced due to the fact that my in-laws are coming tomorrow. It seems I've spent the last two weeks cleaning in order for the house to look presentable for their visit. Tonight, the kitchen still has dirty dishes in the sink, there are still toys strewn about the living room and family room, my desk is cluttered, there is still laundry to be done and one bathroom to clean. Did I mention they are coming tomorrow? It seems I haven't been out of the house in weeks, yet nothing looks done. How do kids do it? They're like small whirlwinds that can whip through a room and destroy its contents in minutes.

So, for tonight, I'll sit and enjoy the peace of a quiet house after everyone is in bed. And I'll worry about the rest of the cleaning tomorrow. Because if my in-laws were really all that worried about how my house looked, they'd hire a cleaning person for me.

I was telling Lily about a women's basketball game that a group of us are going to - several of my friends with daughters who are Lily's age. We'll be going to the season opener and riding the light rail into town. After several minutes of discussion, Lily brought up her most important thought - "Will there be snacks there?" Very typical Lily.

Crossing the Road

This morning I walked Lily to school, as usual. What was unusual was that she was in an excellent mood. Crossing the first street, she ran ahead of me, and waved to a car that was waiting for the crossing guards to finish. When we reached the corner, I asked her who she was waving to. She said, "I'm just waving to the cars." It was very cute. When we crossed the next street, she skipped happily ahead of me. When we reached the playground, one of the moms said that she had seen Lily skipping and it cheered her to see someone so happy. I'm just happy that her good mood was catching!

Oh and Max actually peed in the potty chair last night. I see a tiny spark of a light at the end of the potty training tunnel. Whew. Of course, now that I've written it down, he won't pee in the potty again until he's 12.

After school yesterday, I had 4 five year-olds in my house. The house I had just been cleaning ALL DAY because the in-laws are coming into town. I believe that I have suffered a series of small strokes that has shut off the portion of my brain to think of advance consequences.

All in all, they didn't destroy too much. Several of the LARGE toys from Lily's closet were out, but quickly put to rights. I did avoid a potential disaster by not allowing one of the boys to drag out ALL of Max's trains on his freshly cleaned bedroom floor. I caught them before the trains, tracks, and various accessories were scattered everywhere.

The biggest effect wasn't immediately apparent; it showed its ugly face this morning. Max was playing outside with Josie when she took "his"place on the driveway with her trike. He looked at her and said, "I'm not your friend any more". I immediately spoke up and made him apologize. But I knew where he heard it..... from 4 five year-olds several times during the previous afternoon.

Trains

Max wants a potty train. Apparently he thinks it is some kind of train made of toilets. I haven't the heart to tell him what it really is. Maybe I can bribe him with a train if he actually pees in the potty. Hmmmmm.